teacher: describe yourself in one word
me: done

spermbanker:

IF U DO NOT LIKE ME:
1. Me neither
2. I don’t care

awwww-cute:

Having trouble getting out the tent

awwww-cute:

Having trouble getting out the tent

Doctor: do you drink or smoke?
Me: no
Doctor: (under his breath) what a loser

stability:

you know when youre in the car and your parents break hard and they throw their arm over you for protection?
I have same instinct with my take out food

camel-no:

5 Points will be deducted from Gryffindor ‘cause Harry’s being a little bitch