demon: i possessed you
me: get the fuck out
demon: damn...aight...rude ass bitch...i just need a place to stay my girl kicked me out and i aint got no money...
me: shit man, you can stay but don't be spinning my head like an owl and shit

The Last of Winter : (Mattias Holter) 

“faster,” i moaned. “why won’t this page load faster?”

lamapalooza:

when your bestfriend replaces u

image

untexting:

i’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one